This is third had, via Sojourners:
Have I rejoiced with and for my neighbor in virtue or pleasure? grieved with [her] in pain, for him in sin? … Have I revealed any evil of anyone, unless it was necessary to some particular good I had in view? Have I then done it with all the tenderness of phrase and manner consistent with that end? … Has goodwill been, and appeared to be, the spring of all my actions toward others?
— John Wesley, quoted in A Guide to Prayer for All God’s People